Beanstalks, Stumps, And Devils Tower

You’ve all most likely seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I bet you even sculpted your mashed potatoes, at least once, after watching the movie. And if you have been to Wyoming, is there a chance you would have missed traveling to Devils Tower? I think not!
It definitely is one of America’s most unique and mysterious sites. It also bears the distinction of being the United State’s very first National Monument, thanks to President Theodore Roosevelt. The 1,347 acres that make up the Devils Tower National Monument were established by Roosevelt in 1906, and have been protected ever since.
And lest we get too carried away with our ever ready paranormal mindset, we need to get how this monument came to be known as Devils Tower out of the way. It was a big mistake! That’s correct, a big mistranslation mistake.
In 1875, Colonel Richard Dodge’s expedition sought, from a Native American guide, the native name of the giant formation. Unfortunately, as things often got mistranslated, they were informed the translation into English was Bad God’s Tower, which eventually became Devils Tower. Oh, and the absence of an apostrophe in Devils was a clerical error made when the name was recorded.
Interestingly, different Native American tribes of the northern plains have historical names for Devils Tower, and almost all of them pertain to bears. They also include fascinating stories of children being lost, bears of varying size trying to eat them, and salvation atop the tower, accompanying the names. Some of them are “Aloft on a Rock”, “Grizzly Bear’s Lodge”, “Bear’s Tipi”, and “Tree Rock”.
The name Tree Rock leads us to a theory currently circulating on social media sites. It seems our seriously not joking band of Flat Earthers has reached a mutually acceptable explanation of exactly what Devils Tower is. Are you ready? It is a huge tree stump.
This emanates from a Crimean man who goes by, Людин Рɣси. He proclaimed there are no forests on Flat Earth, and what we see today are but shrubs posing as trees. He tells us there was a cataclysmic event long ago that destroyed 99% of Earth’s biosphere, and in the process, killed the forests of ages past. Людин Рɣси says the original trees that were found on Earth were miles high, and he proves this. How? Stumps! That’s right. Tree stumps can be found everywhere, and although they imitate mountains and buttes, they are stumps. And Devils Tower is one of these remarkable tree stumps.
So, do not be fooled when viewing the monument. It may look like, and analysis may verify it is igneous rock, most likely formed by the forcible entry of magma into, or between other rock formations. No, this geological drivel is to distract you from the real truth. The Earth is flat, there are no forests, and Jack really did climb a beanstalk. Just ask a Flat Earther; he will explain it all to you.
(Photo courtesy of Visit Rapid City)